Counseling for Retired Athletes
For the longest time, your life has been wrapped up in your sport.
You lived and breathed it every day. It was your identity.
You gave it everything you had… to be the best athlete you could be.
You suffered injuries that still follow you around as incessant aches.
You might have missed out on a “normal” childhood.
You were at practice when your school friends were hanging out. School dances, birthday parties, concerts… all missed for practice.
Maybe you didn’t see your family that much either. You might have had to move far away from them to train.
The main adult in your life was your coach. S/he became your parent. Your teammates were the only ones who really knew you. Nobody else understood what it took each day to be so committed to excellence in one very specific and difficult thing.
Now that you’ve left the team, you feel like you’re on your own.
Retirement is a complicated kind of mourning…
Perhaps retirement came too soon, an injury forced you out, or you lost your scholarship. You might feel resentment for having to move on before you were ready.
Or maybe your retirement didn’t come soon enough, and you’re trying to heal from long-standing mistreatment you couldn’t break free from sooner.
Your relationship with your sport might be… complicated. Perhaps you’re not so sure that your time in sports had the best influence on you.
No matter your past experience, it’s hard giving up the only life you’ve ever known.
If you’re not going to practice today, what are you supposed to do with yourself?
If you’re not working toward that next big competition, what ARE your goals?
If you don’t have your coach’s standards to live up to, where does your sense of worth come from?
It’s a recipe for feeling lost…
What’s the meaning of your life now?
What’s your purpose?
Who are you now? Who do you want to be?
Should you find a way to stay in the sport? Maybe become a coach?
Should you get as far away as possible and start something totally new?
Do you even know how to take a break and just BE for a little while?
You might have a hard time imagining any of these possibilities. Is there a future out there for you?
It all has you feeling kind of foggy and depressed.
There is life after sports.
Here’s what I want you to know: Life is a series of chapters, and you’re on the cusp of a new one.
It can be disorienting and scary, but it can also be a chance to explore in ways you haven’t for a very long time.
It’s possible to be a curious kid again.
It’s even possible to fall in love again.
And you have so much experience to build on – so many skills and so much wisdom – that will serve you no matter what you do next.
It’s okay to take a minute to think…
…to think through where you’ve been and where you want to go.
As a philosophical counselor and someone who’s been through my own “retirement transition” beyond athletics, I’m here to help you turn the page with intention.
Together, we can explore your (possibly complicated) connection to your sport AND your other interests.
We can come up with concrete steps for trying out new things. That means letting your curiosity wander around a bit so you can identify new passions and aspirations.
We can talk about the sports culture you grew up in – along with its beliefs, values, and norms – and consider its effects on you. We can also compare it to cultures outside the gym (which might seem rather strange to you initially).
We can assess new options available to you – and whether you’d like to move beyond athletics, return to athletics in a new capacity, or perhaps become a change-maker in your sport.
We can also work through some philosophical questions concerning identity, change, loss… and what it means to create yourself anew.
Monica Vilhauer, Ph.D., Philosophical Counselor, Former club and NCAA Div I Gymnast
I am here to support you.
Let’s find a direction that is inspiring, empowering, and totally YOU.
Ready to find clarity and motivation again?
Reach out for a consultation call.